By now many of you have heard that I am on a medical leave of
absence for six months. As I attend to my health I will occasionally write
something for the blog regarding my current journey. It will not be too detailed but I
hope it brings some hope or inspiration when you are also in a dark place.
Five nights ago I was awakened by the Lord. I could not
go back to sleep. Instead I got out of bed and began to pray, read my bible,
and cry out to the Lord. I asked Him to speak as He has seemed so distant and
quiet for a long time.
Then I heard the Lord; yes after a long quiet time of
months and months I heard Him. He asked me to draw an image of the crucifixion
scene. Now I have never fancied drawing, nor did I take art in school, and I
even flunked coloring in elementary school when it was a course with a grade
attached. Yet here was God asking me to
draw. So I did!
The scene reflects me. I am weary from the climb to the
cross. My body is gray and lifeless. I
am prostrate before the cross and yet still not close. All that is within me is dead, cold,
lifeless, and finished.
Yet my Savior sees me!
From the cross, with blood dropping from his body, especially where the
spear was thrust in his side, HE SEES ME!
I cannot cry out. Too exhausted. I cannot pray - words will not form on my
lips. Yet on the cross, dying, He has heard. How? I do not know yet He does.
The Lord then tells me to write "God is Love"
and to write it in Latin. I look the words up and see "Deus Caritas
Est" or God is Love. I feel as if
He looks down on me from the cross in the drawing. I hear Him say "And I
Love You."
It is enough! For
this day, in the dark cave within which I exist, I have seen and heard the Lord. He has
told me how much He loves me. The red dot on my gray body is the Lord's touch.
He is making something new. He has given me a heart of flesh instead of a heart
of stone. He is bringing new life to dead bones (Ez. 36:26 and 37).
I then am led to write a poem. Same as the drawing - I do not do this - EVER. Yet the Lord has me write a poem and in color. Read below but it is called "BE".
The Lord is near even in strange and new ways. He is near
even when we cannot see, hear, taste nor feel His presence.
Blessings
Mike
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